Free PDF What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal, by Nan Silver
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What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal, by Nan Silver
Free PDF What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal, by Nan Silver
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Review
“In an easy-to-understand format full of anecdotes, imaginary dialogues, and analogies to game theory, Gottman explains lack of trust in a relationship … The practical tools to evaluate current relationships and step-by-step methods for avoiding betrayal, repairing relationships heading toward crisis, or healing a relationship after a crisis will be useful to couples who want to look honestly at healing chronic hurts and improving the state of their relationship, and are ready for a system to help them.”—Publishers Weekly"Instructional and enlightening..."—Kirkus Reviews
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About the Author
John Gottman, PhD has written numerous academic articles and is the author or coauthor of forty books, including the bestselling The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. His breakthrough research on marriage and parenting that has earned him numerous major awards, including four National Institute of Mental Health Research Scientist Awards. Currently a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, Gottman lives on Orcas Island, Washington.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Simon & Schuster; Reprint edition (September 10, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9781451608489
ISBN-13: 978-1451608489
ASIN: 1451608489
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.7 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
162 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#10,275 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Wow. It is probably too late for me, now. I had this book for months based on a recommendation and allowed it to collect dust. As I finally picked it up and read it, at the end of things, I realize what a mistake that was. So much of my relationship was in here and ways to work through it. I suggest if you feel yours is in trouble, get this book and work it!
I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and this is one of my favorite books, and certainly one of the best couples books I've read. The suggestions are simple, and based on years of research. I have given this book to people I know who are struggling in their relationships.
"What Makes Love Last?" really opened my eyes, the quizzes helped me to assess and evaluate where my relationship is and he uses study cases to allow you great perspective/understanding. Gottman gives great coaching/guidance on how to evaluate & handle situations in your love relationship and how you can work through them. The stories and examples really help to give a great understanding of what concepts, situations and resolutions are to come from the word of his work. I definitely would recommend this to anyone - even if everything is "perfect" and/or someone or couple is not in the best place in their relationship, there are great things to discover by reading this book.
Amazon-- In this insightful book, celebrated research psychologist and couples counselor John Gottman plumbs the mysteries of love….Where does love come from? Why does some love last, and why does some fade? And how can we keep it alive? Based on laboratory findings, this book shows readers how to identify signs, behaviors, and attitudes that indicate a fraying relationship and provides strategies for repairing what may seem lost or broken.Goodreads: IN THIS WISE, ACCESSIBLE, AND LONG-AWAITED BOOK, ….Gottman has spent decades observing the conversational patterns and biorhythms of thousands and thousands of couples in his famous Love Lab. Now he applies this research to fundamental questions about trust and betrayal. Doubts are common in relationships. Partners often worry. Can I trust my partner? Am I being betrayed? How do I know for sure?With a gift for translating complex scientific ideas into insightful and practical advice, Gottman explains how a couple can protect or recover their greatest gift, their love for one another.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This book is light and fairly easy to read. That is deceptive. It is a life-saver and one that I dearly wish was in my life when I was stumbling around. Read it if you want to learn about keeping trust in relationships. Oh wonder! Our biology wants closeness with others, yet we often undermine our most important love relationships.My five takehomes may be helpful to you in your needs-of-today.1) We are limbic beings, mammals, we need attachment. Connection is not optional for living a good life. We are more efficient when we trust and live longer with it. Mistrust with those close to us is extremely draining psychically/physically.2) This book has many fixits to restore trust, including detailed and useful surveys for couples to use. One whole chapter says “good relationships needs good sex.†And many lessons on “Learning Trust.â€3) Gottman has a lot of lovely phrases that can help us to keep good habits of loving: Blame+ is the “Roach motel for lovers;†relational experiences go in the nice box, the neutral box, or the nasty box; do you walk through your partners proffered “Sliding door moment?†The “Ziegarnack effect†is that memories of unfinished business do not fade with time. You might notice the downward spiral of a relationship when you either start to have “Negative sentiment override;†and/or “negative compsâ€â€”comparing current partner with imagined other partners.4) Couples spending a lot of time in the Neutral Box [neither nasty nor nice] of emotionally un-flooded communication is very healing; especially if you can be emotionally neutral while noticing disagreements. Another way of saying—being non-reactive to a relationship’s emotional weather is darn important. Humor rocks!5) This book describes the ten kinds of betrayal of trust in relationships; sexual cheating is but one. Thank you, John and Nan for telling us as so much, so painlessly! And Kim for tightening this piece, nicely.
John Gottman writes well, if not a little dry at times. This is more a science approach to love with lots of science based examples. Best heard as an Audio inside the car.
A working book with a lot of information for those who want a better picture of the state of marriage.The test, although helpful and insightful, do take ​time to complete and it helps if both partners are engaged and committed to the process. What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal
This book gave quite a bit of insights and skill sets one can learn to better not only a marriage, but a relationship. I would highly recommend it.
A very good book on relationships.On their pitfalls and how to climb out of those.I found the chapter on infidelity especially helpful.
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