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Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive: 10th Anniversary Edition, by Daniel J. Siegel
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Review
“Parenting from the Inside Out is a must-have for any parent. I gave a friend of mine a copy, and she said, “This book is changing my life. I like my kids again.”—Gweneth Paltrow“As a parent of seven children, this book has a permanent spot on my night table.”—Kate Capshaw Spielberg“Every parent should read Parenting from the Inside Out.”—Betty Edwards, author of DRAWING ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BRAIN“Dan Siegel and Mary Hartzell have quite deftly managed to translate highly complex neuroscientific and psychological matters into lay strategies for effective parenting.” —Marilyn B. Benoit, M.D., former president, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry"Parenting from the Inside Out is an extraordinary tool for parenting."—Jessie Nelson (director/screenwriter: Corrina Corrina, Enchanted 2, Stepmom, I Am Sam)"Dan Siegel and Mary Hartzwell have quite deftly managed to translate highly complex neuroscientific and psychologolcal matters into lay strategies for effective parenting."—Marilyn B. Benit, M.D, former president American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
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About the Author
Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., is clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, co-director of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center, and executive director of the Mindsight Institute. A graduate of Harvard Medical School, he is the author of BRAINSTORM:The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain; he is the coauthor of two classic parenting books: Parenting from the Inside Out (with Mary Hartzell, M.Ed.) and The Whole-Brain Child (with Tina Payne Bryson). Also the author of Mindsight and the internationally acclaimed professional texts The Mindful Brain and The Developing Mind. Dr. Siegel keynotes conferences and presents workshops throughout the world. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and two children.Mary Hartzell, M. Ed., is a child-development specialist and parent educator. She is the director of the renowned First Presbyterian Preschool of Santa Monica, California.
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Product details
Paperback: 336 pages
Publisher: TarcherPerigee; Anniversary edition (December 26, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 039916510X
ISBN-13: 978-0399165108
Product Dimensions:
5.4 x 0.8 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
237 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#5,310 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
The reviewers that gave this book less than 4-5 stars are exactly the people that need to re read this book. We see the world through the lens of memory and everything in our past influences our behavior. While this is not a " how to " manual for solving certain problems step by step with our children, it is a much deeper and longer lasting fix. It helps the reader to self examine and become the kind of parent they want to be instead of the kind of parent that they are programmed to be based on their family history.I think this is a fantastic book for parents that are serious about being the best people they can be for their children. I wish it was written 30+ years ago when I had my first child.If you are fairly intelligent and want to prepare yourself to be the best parent you can be ( any age child ) - do yourself and your kids a favor. Get the book. I wish they taught this stuff in school.
I loved how this book opened. It was about how our childhoods affect how we parent our children. Of course, we all know that, but sometimes we are subconsciously affected in ways we don't realize. Sometimes, we might actively try to correct our parents' wrongs without realizing the negative effects of that reaction. This book makes us more mindful of our actions. It's less of a parenting book (as in how to parent) than a book for understanding ourselves so we can be better parents.At the end of each chapter are exercises and discussion about the science behind it all. My mind numbed a little at times, so you can skip these sections if you want. About midway through the book, I started to feel like the authors droned on a little too long. I get it already; you've made your point. Now how do I put this info to good use? The last quarter of the book, we get some answers, though they are a little vague. There's never really a do it this way or try that. If you want hard core parenting advice, you won't find it here. I found the book useful, though, for making me more self-aware.
I do a lot of work in emotional health and trauma recovery and personally this has been THE biggest game changer of my parenting. It was incredibly easy for me to use my emotional health tools to analyze my child but she was still struggling no matter what I did. I ended up going to therapy JUST to figure out how I could mother such a hard kid and my therapist recommended this book. It is quite difficult for me to read and process but I am hopeful that as I process my own childhood trauma that slowly and steadily I can become a safe place for my daughter. Thank you Dr. Siegel.
This book sheds light on why we act and react in the way that we do when it comes to relationships with our children. It is a nice guide for putting your own life into perspective so that you can bond more deeply with your child. It has been eye opening for me. It is written in a somewhat text book style at a pretty high reading level. It’s very heavy on the neuroscience, which at times can be a tad bit painstaking to decipher and interpret meaning for folks who don’t have any formal scientific background or experience. It also says that it is not a “how to†book but a “how we†book and that is 100% accurate in my assessment. You won’t necessarily learn how to cope with raising your children, you will gain understanding as to why you tend to cope the way that you do cope. This understanding could be very helpful in helping you raise coherent, emotionally secure children. Since starting this book, my capacity for empathy and understanding for both my son and myself has grown immensely. My bottom line on this book is that it is good background knowledge and especially helpful for people who have a sense of unresolved issues from their own childhood. Wouldn’t recommend this as a first book to reach for if you are struggling with parenting issues however. It’s more for people who are looking for deeper resolution to problematic patterns in their parenting journey and for people who enjoy and appreciate neuroscience.
My dil had this book on her wish list and I couldn't refuse. She has been reading it and is really liking how the authors help you parent better based on "Drawing on stunning new findings in neurobiology and attachment research, they explain how interpersonal relationships directly impact the development of the brain, and offer parents a step-by-step approach to forming a deeper understanding of their own life stories, which will help them raise compassionate and resilient children." quote taken from the authors.
This book has been extremely helpful for me. I did not read the whole thing because it got a bit too slow about halfway through, but the first half is worth 5 stars. There are a lot of things that happened in my childhood that I would brush off as irrelevant to my life now, but when I really examine them and come to terms with the good & the bad that is when I know I can grow past them and be the parent that I want to be.I have been a gentle, attachment-oriented parent since having my first baby 6 years ago. But I found that I would sometimes get unbelievably angry at my children, completely out of proportion with the situation, and I couldn't control myself. I would lash out and scare them (though never physically hurt them). I didn't want to be this way, but I didn't know how to stop and to be frank it felt a little good... like I was getting something out when I was yelling at them. Reading this book helped me to understand where those flashes of anger came from. I came by them honestly, just as my parents did. But my parents never bothered to learn how to control themselves. I am now doing MUCH better. When I get angry I clench my fists and yell silently at the sky, then deal with my children in a more subdued way. Sometimes i tell them I am feeling angry, but I no longer scare the pants off them. And I really credit reading this book.
This book contained great explanations for why we fall into particular patterns and I did enjoy having the references to be able to dive in and study more, but I wanted more "how to" than "why" or "what" answers.
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